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Friday, September 12, 2014

Finding Joy in the Journey.

This post is a hard one.  This is not something I EVER thought I would be speaking about, let alone writing a blog post for and sharing with the Internet.  I have gone back and forth about my decision to share this with you all for months.  As most of you know, I tend to be a very private person when it comes to my personal life.  So naturally part of me feels like this isn’t something that I should talk about, or feel the need to explain to anyone outside of my family and friends.  But the other part of me wants to share it because I have been at this for 7 years and appreciate the kindness, and support I have received.  In a way I feel responsible to share this because it is such a huge thing and not just a small little detail about my life.  This has completely rocked my world to say the least, and to go on pretending as if this is not the case just feels wrong.  Like one giant lie-and to be honest, I’ve been part of more lies than any one person should be in a lifetime.  I also feel as though this may help others who are going through or have gone through a similar experience.  One of the biggest blessings of being on You Tube for so long is the have the amazing support that I receive.  With support, comes so many others who can relate.  I have been told that I have helped others when they have been through rough times, and now that I am experiencing this, I am in turn leaning on you all for support.  I knew that once people started catching on to some changes (not wearing my ring, new filming set-up, lack of videos, etc.) there would be questions.  And I knew that if I didn’t say anything and chose to ignore them, they wouldn’t go away.  I understand that people are curious-a little nosy if you will and I totally get it.  But rather than people speculating, or assuming to know what is going on, I would rather have the chance to explain it myself.

I am getting a divorce. The words still feel so unreal and honestly scary to even see them written out.  Never in a MILLION years would I have believed a single soul if they told me that at 29 years old, I would be a divorced, single Mom of a 1 year old and having to start my life all over again - from scratch.  But here lies my reality - and the truth.  Four months ago, I discovered that my husband of 2 years (we had just celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary the week before) has not only been lying, but involved in an inappropriate relationship for the last 4 years of our life.  My husband, my best friend, the guy that I was madly in love with, committed myself to in front of our closest friends and family, had a child with, the guy I was supposed to grow old with, suddenly became a stranger to me.  I didn’t even recognize him anymore.  To say that I was blindsided would be putting it lightly.  Most women in my shoes start to see signs, feel the distance, catch their partner in lies.  Not this girl!  Nick has been leading a double life and he became a professional at it.  Out of respect for our daughter, as bad as this guy has hurt me, I don’t have it in me to nail him to the cross so publicly with all of the super fun details.

I never claimed to have a perfect life - but I would be lying to you if I said I didn’t think I had a great life.  A life that I thanked God for each and every night and a life that sometimes I would cry at night over after hearing from others the hard times they were going through.  I didn’t feel like I deserved such a great life - at times it felt too good to be true and in the back of my mind, I always felt like a bomb was going to drop.  I’m calling it women’s intuition.  Well the bomb dropped….it crashed, actually and shattered my fairytale….and now I am working to put the pieces back together and keep moving forward.   I have been told by many that I am handling it extremely well, and while I can honestly say that I am in a really good place, this did happen several months ago and time has definitely done its part in starting the healing process for me.  I am not going to pretend that I haven't gone through some of the darkest days and truth be told, still have some occasionally.  To anyone else going through something similar - especially those who have just recently had their worlds shattered, please believe me when I say that I PROMISE you that life will get better.  The darkness will eventually fade and the sun WILL shine again.  It just may take a little while. In that while, don’t be afraid to grieve….afterall, it certainly does feel like a death.  A death of someone you thought you knew better than yourself, and in your heart and world is no longer existent.  Its ok to cry, scream, be angry, frustrated, have questions, doubt yourself, cry for days, etc.  I’ve been there.  I experienced all of those emotions and beyond.  And just when I think I am on my 2 feet again and fine….it hits me out of nowhere and the emotions start all over again.  However, time does heal and those "waves" become less and less and though I’m sure at times we all would love a fast forward button on life, unfortunately, they don’t exist.  Take advantage of time.  You have a second chance at life, at happiness, to correct the mistakes you have made, and to learn from them moving forward.  You are about to embark on a whole new journey, and start a whole new relationship-one with yourself.  It will teach you more about you and falling in love with who YOU are.  Enjoy it, start saying YES, take on something new, do things you have never done before, have FUN! I have been through hell and back the last several months - but I’m still alive, and I’m choosing to not let this one REALLY bad thing define me.  Truth is, Nick made the decisions he did…As a 35 year old adult, only he is in control of his decisions and his life.  No one forced him and no one told him what to do.  He decided and he acted.  I don't understand it, I can't explain it and to be honest, I don't think I ever will.  But I know now that its not for me to understand or explain.  Thats just Nick. I am saying this because if anyone is going through something like this, this is so important to note!  I need you to hear this.  IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.  You cannot blame yourself and you don't have to understand it.  It will only drive you crazy and delay you from moving on with your life.  Its scary to not know what tomorrow will bring - but find comfort in knowing that tomorrow WILL come.  Every tomorrow is a chance for a do-over, a fresh start.  And with every tomorrow comes HOPE.  Hope that you will be happy again, hope that you will trust again, hope that you will one day look back at all of this as a blessing in disguise and just a “really hard time”.  Maybe it will become the turning point on your journey that is life.  The moment that you became an even stronger person than you imagined yourself ever being.  A month after everything came out, a very wise soul said something that has really stuck with me that I want to share with you all.  She said that though I may have thought of Nick as my soul mate and my forever - he may have just been a stepping stone for me to get to where I am going and ultimately where I am supposed to be.  I’ve always been a believer that everything happens for a reason….even really bad things that people can’t explain when they happen.  And I have to believe that God has bigger plans for Addison and I.  I trust in him and at the end of the day, its what gets me through each day, especially the really painful ones.  I am grateful that he is the one in control. And then there is Addison.  To consider her the biggest blessing in my life would be the understatement of the year.  She is my hero.  She has saved me from so much darkness and put the life back in me again.  I honest to God have no idea where I would be without her.  How a 1 year old can be this powerful little force in my life-without even knowing or trying is the most fascinating thing to me.  She is my angelbaby and I will be forever grateful to her for the blessing that she is and getting me through this.  I will be forever grateful to God for choosing me to be her Mommy and giving me the best gift I could ever have received-from anyone.  When I do experience bad days-she is my light. She is my joy and she is what pulls me through.  Seeing her smile, or learn a new task, say a new word or give me her sloppy open-mouth kisses…it sends chills down my spine just thinking about it all.  And more importantly, it reminds me how precious this life is and how some things just don’t matter.  She has taught me to laugh through tears and hold on to precious little moments, even when they happen at the worst times.  I have strengthened my relationship with God and look forward to this new force in my life.  My parents have been my saving grace….my Mom- I can’t even begin to describe just how amazing she has been.  She is there at the drop of a hat without me even asking.  Not only has she been the biggest help with Addie but she has been my best friend and confident.  The amount of support I have received from my family and friends is something I will never be able to repay.  I always knew I had a great family and amazing friends…but this whole thing has really made me realize just how blessed I am to have the support system I do and I don’t take it or any one of them for granted.  Every single one of them have dropped everything to be there for me, sometimes even just to let me cry, scream and vent to.  The reason I am saying all of this, is again for anyone else going through this.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  That is what they are there for.  And trust me, one day, you will be there for them to return the favor.

I apologize for the crazy long post, and I thank you for reading and for all of your support.  Like I said, I have gone through some pretty dark days, and reading your comments and emails even in the last 4 months always manage to put a smile on my face.  You guys have helped me through so much, and without even knowing, or trying.  I can’t thank you enough and I wish I could personally thank each and everyone of you that have been something positive for me.  I would love to be able to return the favor to anyone who would allow me.  If you guys ever need to talk, vent, or just a friend to talk to, I am here.  Don’t be a stranger. You will get through this, you will be ok - in fact, you will be even stronger and happier, I promise.  If there is nothing else in this life that you can count on to get you through, you will always have time.  That is the one thing that without fail, you can ALWAYS count on.  If there is anything I’ve learned in all of this its that life isn’t a fairytale…..and I’m starting to be ok with that.



xo,


132 comments:

  1. Nobody should go through this. My heart breaks for you and I wish you all the best because you deserve it, really.

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  2. Michele, I've been watching you for years, and it makes my heart so heavy to ready this and it brings tears to my eyes. I will keep you and Addison in my prayers for the strength to get through all of this, you will become stronger than you ever were before.

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  3. Wow Michele, I am so sorry you have been going through this, I have watch your videos for a long time. I have always admired you now more than ever its not easy but you are going to get through and you will be stronger than ever

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  4. Im so sorry for you, but as I read the post, you are a very strong and brave woman. I love this post, thanks for sharing your story. Thank you, I wish you all the best.

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  5. So, so, so sorry for you and Addie, this is just terrible! I have been watching you for many years. I can't believe Nick would do something like this to you; wish I could get my hands on him... Ugh. Glad you have such a great support system. Much love to you.

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  6. I'm so sorry to hear this, Michelle. I went through something similar...at 26 years old. I never would have thought I'd be divorced at 27 but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. You will get through this and come out stronger. I remember thinking in those dark days that I'd never be happy again and that I longed to just have a minute of not feeling sad but, in time, things brightened up and began to see the meaning of life again. It took time, but I got there.

    Thinking and praying for you :)

    Megan
    budgetfashion101.blogspot.ca

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  7. Michele, just like many, I have followed you from the beginning and hearing about this breaks my heart. Nobody should have to endure this much pain, and I commend you for being so open about your situation with us. You and Addison will be in my prayers. God can heal all wounds and he will restore your heart. Blessing to you and your family.

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  8. Michele, even thought we've never met, I've always seen you as a dear friend (talking with my friends saying "oh a friend recommended this to me" refering to you) couldn't help to cry as I read your post for right now I am experiencing something remotely similar. I want you to know that I admire the way that you've chosen to see things and I'm sure God is with you in every step you take. I send you a big hug!!! Mireya

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  9. Thinking of you and Addison. Just take it one day at at time (or hour). Stay positive xx

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  10. Michelle, I am so sorry you and Addison are going through this! I have several friends in similar circumstances and it is devastating for everyone. You and Addie are in my thoughts and prayers! Much love to both of you!

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  11. Thinking about you and sending lots of love to you and your precious daughter.

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  12. Michele, I'm with you from the beginning of your vids. So it's like forever. With time, I even started say "oh Michele's today", I considered you my friend that I have never met and probably never will as I live in Europe. You were never stranger to me so when I started reading this and all of the sudden my heart felt heavy as I knew you were in a dark place but managed to have so much courage to share this. My favourite sen.from the Bible is: "The Lord is near the brokenhearted. He saves those crushed in spirit"Psalm 34:18....
    the life becomes easier when you accept the apology you never truly got, because it's something one will never be able to apologize for. After years it's him, who won't be abe to look into your eyes, it will eat him. I also think think that every thing happens for a reason, it's all written by the Same Hand. I will pray for you and Addie for a new wonderful beginning. You are a strong beautiful woman, you will finally get your shizz together, first for Addie,than for yourself. Be ready for what's next. My gram said once "trust me,life is short don't waste time for sorrow,tomorrow is a new day,in one day we are born,in one day we die,we can change in one day, in one day we fall in love,everything can change in one day".
    I'm with you.

    to cheer you for a sec, here's Frank Ocean quote " If someone breaks your heart...punch them in the face. Seriously. Just punch them in the face, and go get some icecream".

    Love you lots.

    Karolina

    heavenrain5@hotmail.com




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    1. Michele! I am so sorry you've been going through this! My sister had a similar situation and I saw how sad and difficult it was. You have the best attitude and you are such a positive and beautiful person! I know everything will be great for you and Addison! Wishing you well xo Denise chambers

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  13. I am praying for you and Addison! Stay strong!

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  14. Michele, my heart is heavy reading what you've been through. I'm so impressed with how you've handled it and continue to handle it. God is good and sufficient in our need. Prayers for you and Addison and a reminder that the best is yet to come. xo

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  15. I love you so much Michelle. I am shocked and saddened by this. I will pray for you. You are loved. XO Radha imahappycat

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  16. My heart breaks for you Michele. Nobody should have to go through this kind of hurt and pain. My dad always say "God only gives us what he knows we can handle". God obviously knows that you are an extremely strong woman who will build an amazing life for Addison and yourself. I will keep you and Addison in my prayers! Stay strong! The best is yet to come.

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  17. I'm speechless, Michele. I can't believe this happened to you. But like you wrote, everything happens for a reason. I wish you all the BEST! <3

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  18. Michele, you've always been an inspiration to me and I deeply admire your bravery and respect that you felt it important to share such a private time of your life with us. You have always been such a strong woman and I know you will grow even more from this. Addison is such a blessed little girl as she will have such an amazing and strong role model to take after. Although you don't know me and we may never meet, just know that I will always be connected to you and send you my prayers and positive vibes. XOXO Kitu

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  19. Although my heart breaks for you, Michele, I see so much beauty in this post. It is clear that you are such a strong woman and a wonderful mother. It is beautiful and inspiring to see your positivity and growth in such a difficult time. Know that you have the love and support of so many who look forward to your videos and consider you a friend. xoxo

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  20. Your post hit home for me as it reminded me of what has happenend to me around the same age as you. It will get better..I promise. Hope to see you back on youtube very soon. I will be praying for you and Addie.

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  21. Michele, your best days are ahead of you, not behind you. This may be a blessing in disguise... I know it hurts & its hard to see any silver lining in this dark cloud, but it's there. Just keep your chin up & stay positive. I'm praying for you & Miss Addison. Everything will be ok.

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  22. Michele, my heart breaks from reading what you are going through and what is yet to come . I am so happy you have God in your life. He will carry you through this until your strong enough on your own and remember you can always lean on him. Please know I will keep you and Addison in my prayers . Much Love and Peace to you ..

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  23. I'm shocked and so sad after reading this...honestly. I've been watching your videos for years and have always looked up to you/been inspired by you( you're a few years old than me and I see you as a successful woman with a life I hope to have when I graduate law school). I'm speechless though and although I don't know you personally my heart still breaks for you. I'm praying for you and Addison. Trust in god even if you can't see what his plan is yet. Don't ever forget that he is always there with you. Sending lots of love your way <3

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  24. My heart breaks for you. I was in your shoes, a husband living a double life, one so disturbing and violating, that he was diagnosed with a sexual addiction. He had been my best friend for years before i would date him, how did i not see it?! It took a lot, and honestly still does, not to feel that i could have been "more", but intellectually, i know i was not the problem, he had it before and has it after me. I believe everything is for a reason, and it will only make you stronger. i'm grateful for you that your baby is young enough not to know what is happening, sadly mine were not. i suffered more watching their pain and betrayal. you deserve love, as we all do, and i pray that one day, it is gifted to us. until then, we must just learn to love ourselves and grow stronger as an individual. i wish you the best!

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  25. What a prick!! I'm so sorry Michele. This is so heartbreaking to read. I don't understand people who do this. How can they commit to someone, have a child with them all the while not being faithful and fully committed. It's disgusting.
    Your a strong woman and I admire you even more for having the courage to share your pain. Addison is so lucky to have a wonderful mother. All my love to you and your little girl x

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  26. I can't even express how sorry I am for you Michele:( You're such a positive and caring person and I'm so sad that such horrible things happened to you. You bring a lot of happiness to my life through your videos, you're always so positive. And you're an amazing mum, Addison is lucky to have you as her Mummy. I'll keep you and your little girl in my prayers. I believe that everything happens for a reason, God has plans for all of us and he knows what's best for us, even if it's hard and we don't understand it. I believe that everything will work out for you and you will be happy again. Stay strong girl! I wish you all the best! Sending you a huge hug!
    Love,
    Gosia xxx

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  27. Dear Michelle, as I sit here at 3:45 in the morning nursing my baby girl I am filled with so much sorrow after reading your blog post. It feels like my best friend has just been cheated on and there's nothing I can do to help her. It may seem dramatic but I have been following you for about 3 years and you were the first beauty guru I ever watched. Through the years you've kept me engaged, most likely because I felt like I could relate to you. You have similar interest and tastes in everything from home decor, makeup, fashion and even just life in general. I've been with my husband since highschool and we just had our first baby, when I found out I was pregnant I went back and watched all your mommy related videos again. Anyways enough about me, I guess what I'm trying to say is that hearing your news and heart ache makes me very emphatic and i truly feel like someone close to me has been hurt. I hope that you can continue with your positivity and continue to deal with everything the way you have. Like you said, god guides you in certain directions in life to get you to bigger and better things, Addison being one of them. That little girl needs and loves you more than anyone could, be strong. It's wonderful that you have great people surrounding you at this hard time in your life but know there are people out there that may not even no you praying for you. Hang in there friend, there's always a rainbow after a storm. Take care.

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  28. You are an absolute inspiration. Wishing you the best from the bottom of my heart. Xoxo.

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  29. Michele,
    You seem like such a genuinely sweet and caring person! I wish that you didn't have to go through this, but as you said, perhaps it is a stepping stone to bigger and better things to come. I hope for all of the best for you and Addie as you follow this journey to your future. Hang in there! :)

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  30. You brought tears to my eyes as I read through your story. I am sure everything happens for a reason and that experiences in life shape us to be better and stronger humans. I admire you so much Michele and I am praying for you and Addison to get through this. You are such an amazing strong person, a true inspiration and I hope all the best for you.

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  31. Sending you big hugs! And lots of prayers ����������

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  32. Wow. I am so sorry you have to go through this Michele, like many of the others I too have been following you for many years and feel as if I know you personally. Your videos were always happy distractions whenever I was going through the most difficult times in my life four years ago (grad school, internship, work, abusive relationship, and terminally ill mother). As silly as that sounds, watching Youtube videos made me feel better and provided an escape from my harsh reality. Years later, I am in a much better place and have married and had a son; and although my mother is no longer with me, she always told me to just take one day at a time. That is my advice to you, as simple as that may sound. You ARE resilient, you ARE strong, you WILL find peace and happiness again. We never now how truly remarkable we are until we are faced with tragedy and choose to overcome whatever life throws our way with a positive and optimistic mindset. Much love to you and your baby girl, and you are so blessed with amazing parents, family, and friends.

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  33. I am so sorry to hear this Michele! Your strength and class shine through in this post and thank you for sharing. Much love to you, Addie and family.

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  34. I have to say that this has been on my mind since I read it. I just feel so horrible about this whole situation, but one thing that I took away from skimming it again just now is that you really seem to have your head in the right place. I KNOW without question that you'll come out of this strong. I was in a relationship years ago that ended badly, and at the time, I couldn't imagine how I'd ever move on because I didn't know life any other way. However, I can honestly say that I am now SO thankful that it all happened because if it didn't, I would not have the wonderful like that I have today. Nick was definitely a stepping stone, and if you don't mind me saying it, he is an idiot. You are a beautiful, intelligent, kind woman and any man will be lucky to have you. Most importantly, your daughter, family, and friends are lucky to have you, and I am sure that they are wise enough to realize it.

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  35. Michele, my heart truly is breaking for you. I am so sorry that you are going through this. What a horrible thing for anyone to go through. Like most of the commenters on this blogpost, I have been watching your videos for a long time and you have always been one of my most favorite gurus! I always look forward to your videos as they are a bright spot in my day. I have always felt some sort of connection to you in your videos based on how kind, sweet, funny, authentic, and down to earth you are. Addison is such a lucky little girl. I am praying for peace and continued healing for you and your family! Sending you much love and hugs from Pittsburgh, PA. ~ Marissa

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  36. Oh Chel :( I am so sorry to hear what's going on. Like you said we always want to know the "Why" but honestly it's not about that. We just need to shift out focus to what counts.

    Thank God you have an amazing support system and faith, you have us too. I have been a follower since you lived back at home and I consider you a friend. You are a strong woman with Greek roots, you will get through this! God bless you love, know that you have a cyber-friend who cares about your wellbeing and shares your beliefs in sisterhood and faith. How Bob Marley said, "Everything gonna be alright". You keep your head up love, God walk at your side. Amen! Ali ❤️

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  37. you are probably the first beauty vlogger i watched and i have always admired your opinions on all things beauty and lifestyle related. reading your post on your blog was so heartbreaking, and i thank you so much for having the courage to write it. while definitely not on the same level, you discussing how your daughter had become your stability really struck home with me, due to a situation i went through a few years ago. when my long term boyfriend left me to peruse other lifestyles i was left feeling confused, abandoned, and even angry. my dog became a constant source of light in my life. he got me through my darkest times. it is amazing and humbling that when you are in the lowest of places something/someone so dependent on you can become your rock. i know someone as wonderful, positive and beautiful as you will come out of this shining. life isn't perfect but there is beauty in every day.

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  39. Michele, I am so very sorry you are going through this. I wish you and your daughter nothing but the best. xox

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  40. oh Michele, my heart hurts for you. I know we've never met or even had a conversion, but I feel as though i know you (through watching your videos) and feel as though we are friends. I just wanna give you a big hug! I will keep you in my prayers. God sees the bigger picture and has something greater in store for you. keep faith in Him & He will get you through this. listen to the song "Praise You in This Storm" (Casting Crowns) praying for you & your precious baby girl xoxo -Anna

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  41. Everything happens for a reason. Bigger and better things are headed your way. Many blessings to you and your baby angel.

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  42. Michele, you are a truly inspiration for many of us. I am so sorry that you are going through this but remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stonger!!! you will find peace and happiness again because you deserv it.
    Much love to you and your baby girl.

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  43. Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to you and your daughter. I'm glad you are doing so well though and I hope things continue to get better. ShadesofKassie on youtube went through a similar situation, so she might be someone good to talk to.

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  44. You helped me get through a really difficult time in my life. It breaks my heart to hear your pain, and am glad you have support from loved ones. You deserve so much, much love <3

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  45. I went through a very similar situation on a much smaller scale last year (he was also quite weirdly called nick) and having a hint of what you're going through,my heart is breaking for you. You have handled things so well, I have the utmost respect for your honesty. 'Its always darkest before the dawn' was what got me through and things do get so much better. One day you'll wake up and you'll say 'and this is why I had to go through that really shit time.,. To get to this point in my life' :) I wish you all the best - I know you'll come out of this stronger

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  46. I'm so sorry you and your daughter have to go through this. I experienced something similar a few years ago and I remember how betrayed I felt. Even so, you sound like you are handeling it amazingly. You and your daughter are in my thoughts <3

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  47. Michele, I am so, so shocked and sad to read this. My heart breaks for you but Nick came into your life to give you Addie and left it for reasons we don't know yet, but which will become clear in the next few months and years. You are an incredible, brave and strong woman and role model to hundreds and thousands of us out here; my boyfriend of 10 years left me a few years ago and honest to God your videos, along with the support of my friends and family, pulled me out of the darkness for those few precious moments a week. Addison is so lucky to have such an amazing, inspirational, self-sufficient woman as her Mum. I wish I could say more to help but it's comforting to know that you have such wonderful friends and family around you. Lean on them always. Love Jen xxx

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  48. Michele, I know it was hard, but thank you for sharing this with us. I know I speak for many others when I say that you will always have my love and support. You are such a strong and compassionate woman, and I have loved watching your videos for years. Hang in there, I know the best is yet to come for you!

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  49. To tell you, that reading this blog post, was a surprise, would be an understatement. I am sending you and Addison lots and lots of love and happy thoughts for the future. I am so sorry this happened to you, but I know this is just a stepping stone for an even brighter and happier future. Thank you for your honesty. I wish I could reach through the screen and hug you to pieces right now. You are an amazing, incredible, strong woman who brings so much love and light to others around the world in her videos, and I am sure I speak for most, if not all, of your viewers, when I say, we would like to give you at least half of what you give to us. X

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  50. I know someone who went through this, a single mother whose husband cheated who is now very happily married to a new man who loves her more than words! You will get through this and are doing a great job now. I'm 18 and I've been watching your videos for 5 or 6 years. My mother has a lot of illness so I've never had a strong female role model to look up to but you are a woman I aspire to be like. You are beautiful, sophisticated, classy, genuine, intelligent, and such a great mother. Never doubt your worth because even through weekly 12 minute videos you've been a friend, confidante, and a role model to many people! Your soul is so beautiful!

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  52. Michele, I've been watching you for years. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I wish you all the best!!

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  53. Michele, so sorry to hear that. I pray that God will continue to give you strength. Thanks for sharing ur story, I'm positive it will help a lot of people. Much luv!!! Xo

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  54. Michele, sending all warm thoughts from my home to yours, and to your sweet little girl. You are a beautiful, intelligent woman -- and this is only the beginning. Stay strong. xo

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  55. Michele, as someone who has watched your videos for years, sometimes with great envy of all of these milestones you've passed I am truly sorry to hear about your situation. There is almost nothing more disheartening and breaking than finding out nothing is what you though it was. I know that someone with your positive (impressively so) outlook and tremendous work ethic will find new things to bring you more fulfillment than anything you could have imagined. Wishing you and Addison good luck and best wishes from New York.

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  56. Praying for you and your family! God and time will make the days easier and happy again.May he grant to you all the koy your heart can hold. Your best days are yet to come.

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  57. You've always been such an inspiration through your passion with youtube, but now you're also an inspiration due to your tremendous amount of strength and hope. I admire how courageous you are to share such a private detail of your life. I am so happy that you have been blessed with such an amazing support system of family and friends to help you get through such a difficult time. I was that shoulder to cry on and a helping hand through my sister's divorce so I know how irreplaceable and valuable that support is. You have such a beautiful soul and deserve nothing short of a beautiful life. I hope you continue to find strength in God and allow time to heal your wounds. I wish you and Addison the absolute best <3

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  58. I have been watching you for years and the one thing I have almost noticed about you is that you're a strong woman. Life may go up and down, but you hold on and go with it. I'm so sorry that this has happened to you and you are going through all of this, but as you said, this might be taking you were you need to go in life. We love you, we support you, and we are here for you. Hugs and prayers for you and your little girl!

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  59. Thank you for sharing- it was very brave of you. I went through a painful divorce myself, and as silly as it sounds, watching a video LisaLisaD1 made about finding happiness after her divorce really helped me. And, just as it will prove to be your "stepping stone" towards happiness, that is what it did for me. I met the true love of my life and we're now married and expecting our first baby! Sending many happy thoughts your way.

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  60. Oh Michele, I am so sorry. I can't even imagine what you're going through! It's one thing to be going through a divorce but adding a child into the mix makes it even harder I'm sure. You are so strong and brave for starting your life over and not giving in to the dark days! That sweet girl and God will get you through! Every thing will be ok, it sounds like you have a wonderful support system! Lots of love from California!

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  61. Michele, I am speechless! Even though we have never met, I am deeply sadden about this and I feel for you. I have never been through a situation like the one you are going through, but I just want to let you know that you are a very strong women and God is with you and baby Addison at all times. You are such a beautiful person inside and out and you are someone I admire so much! I know you will get through this and time will heal it all. God bless you and Addison always and if you ever need a friend, I am here for you! - Love, Alexis from Phoenix, Arizona.

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  62. I have watched you for years, but this post made me love and respect you even more.
    I am in awe of your wisdom, perseverance and strength. You truly deserve all the wonderful gifts that God has in store for you. I know it may not seem like it at times, but all THIS will make you an even better person, because God is by your side. Your words and tenacity during these trying times only proves how truly loved you are by your family and friends. Continue being the wonderful, amazing mother for your beautiful Addison - she is your greatest source of strength.

    Big hugs beautiful girl. And never, ever stop smiling.

    Ps: you have found your fairytale, it is the unconditional love of your beautiful daughter.

    Xoxo

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  63. Hi Michele, I have been watching your youtube for such a long time, and always look forward to your videos, not for the beauty aspect, that is a part of it, but you just seem like such a nice person, a sweet person, someone enjoyable to watch and relate to. Although Ive never been in your shoes, with a facing a divorce, my parents divorced recently and so I know a little about it from a different angle and with that came some ugliness. Through that time in my life, when I was graduating from college, it was earth shattering, something I never thought to expect, after my parents being married for 24 years! That was a very deep dark time in my life, and so I can relate with how your world just spins into something strange and unfamiliar. So although I haven't gone through the same situation I look at you as a friend, and an acquaintance Ive known for many years, and being what I went through perhaps I could give you some advice, First of all, You are such an amazing person, that regardless of whoever you were married too, should have realized how special you were, and clearly I can say, because you are so great, they will regret the way they treated you without a doubt in my mind!!! One day, maybe not now but someday in the future, they will have meltdown, a mid life crisis and will be so sorrowed for the way they treated you, and not only that, but karma does have a way of coming back around. Secondly, I was in a long term relationship and it was borderline toxic, so it is always better to rid yourself of any painful situation, or person who doesn't appreciate you the way you should be admired, loved and cared for. And of course, this is never easy to get through, so never forget how incredible you were to that person, don't ever for one second blame yourself, like you said in the post. This person clearly had other issues, and it is such ashame that they let something slip from right underneath them that most people would kill to have! Girl, you deserve the absolute best, and I love the saying that god closes one door so he can lead you to something greater! I hope you know how much you have affected not only me, but Im sure your entire audience some way or another, and how much support you will always have! I wish great things for you! - Kristina

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  64. Michele:

    I have watched you since the very beginning of your YouTube days. When you stopped making videos and took a break, I was so upset. After you posted your first video after your hiatus, I was so excited that you decided to come back.

    In the odd ways of the world on the Internet and YouTube, you have become a role model to me. Being a year younger, I can relate to you on so many levels.

    If I had to describe you in one word, it would be classy. Your style, attitude, and grace make you stand out among others. I can only hope to be half the mom that you are one day.

    I believe in the stepping stone theory. You weren't meant to be in that place anymore. I'm so proud of you for taking a stand and weathering the storm. Embrace the change, as hard as it may be. You'll always have my support. I may not comment or post much, but I do follow you. I admire you on so many levels. You can get through this and we're all here for you! <3

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  65. Michelle,
    I have seen your videos for years. I remember being thrilled when you returned from your Youtube break, your wedding, and especially you becoming a mother. When I started watching you I was a college undergrad. I remember being inspired by your career success, your intellect, and your classiness. I wanted to be successful just like you. Now I'm 25, have my Master's degree, and my dream job. I really feel that you inspired my journey towards creating this life for myself. Now that you are living this new chapter of your life I just want you to remember that you are an inspiration to so many women. Your faith in His plan for you is moving and completely valid. Here's to life, love, hope, and stepping stones.

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  66. Hi Michelle, I'm so very sad to hear you are going through this, and having to push through life dealing with years of lies. After following you for years, I truly wish all the best for you and your daughter, I know you have an amazing support system, and you're a strong-hearted woman. I went through something similar at the start of this year, and after staying strong and really looking at the health and stability of my family, we are in a much better place in life. oxoxo

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  67. I couldn't agree with you more, everything happens for a reason and I have no doubt that this truly is a stepping stone leading to something bigger and better for you. I was in a long-term relationship with my "soulmate" and when it ended I totally spiralled into a deeper and darker place that I never knew existed. But if anything, it taught me to love myself and know myself better than I ever had before. Once I was able to truly learn to know and love myself I met my now husband and life is better than I could have ever imagined, and I have a love that I never knew existed. Keep smiling Michelle, we're here for you. :)
    xoxo
    Elizabeth

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  68. Omg I'm so sorry. I am going through a similar situation. Stay positive!!!
    Xoxo
    Nikki

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  69. Hi Michele,
    Ive watched you videos for years, I mean years. So when the amount of videos you uploaded slowed I started to wonder what was happening.
    Aside from loving your great style and taste I admire your maturity, sincerity and perseverance in achieving your goals. As creepy as it may sound I wish I could reach out and give you the biggest hug and tell you that from the little I know about you I know you will continue to rise from this horrible nightmare. You have loving parents and little Addison who will be there for you unconditionally.
    Most Sincere wishes for you,
    Pia

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  70. Sending love, light & happiness to you and Addison! ❤️ Xo

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  71. Hi Michele,

    I've been a follower of yours for years now and I've appreciated your opinions because of your honesty and kindness that comes through all your videos. I know you already have the greatest support system with your friends and family but I'm sure you also know there is a huge community here on youtube who care for you and wish you all the very best with everything you do. Everything happens for a reason and the best is yet to come.

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  72. So sorry Michele. It's so shocking when it happens... All I can say is that a man who does such a thing is a fool. For Addison's sake I hope he changes. You and your wonderful family will only be stronger and closer. Bad things happen to good people you know? Your story is proof so Thank you for being your authentic self - your strength & good character are the REAL STORY here! Sending peace, wholeness& love. Kathy

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  73. Michele, I have been watching your videos from the beginning and you have inspired and motivated to so many people, including me.
    I feel as though I have a duty to give back to you if with nothing, than at least some comforting words. As you have beautifully written in your blog (Once again, inspiring others even in your most darkest hour with your strength and bravery -An unbreakable quality in you) This darkness is temporary. Just when you feel your world has crushed on top of you with so much weight that you can't breath, you find that you are still breathing. When you feel you don't want to carry on with life, you find you have to carry on in order to survive, when you feel completely alone, you find that you are surrounded by others (Yes others do exist) who love you unconditionally and help you through.
    It's intoxicating at first but the pile of weight that you feel that is on top of you begins to feel lighter slowly but surely. Time is the biggest healer. It's like a balloon filled with air. At first it (He) the whole situation feels huge but through time it gets smaller and drifts further away from you to the point where you can still see it but it appears like a tiny dot in the distance. It will always be a part of you, it will never completely go away but it will be one of the many experiences you go through in life to get to where you are supposed to be. God has other plans for you and Addison. Continue to be strong, find love within yourself, try to surround yourself with love, (Close family & friends) and one day you will find find love again. I PROMISE! God bless.
    Eva xx

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  74. I think what you're going through and the way you've said it, is very brave and shows kindness as well. It's true that often the hard times are a blessing we just can't see yet. I wish you the best and you will get there.

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  75. Just read your blog and I haven't been on here for a while. So sorry to hear about your marriage. Will keep you and Addison in my prayers. You are a lovely and smart girl. I know God always has a reason and plan. Just take a day at a time. Things will get better.

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  76. Michele, my heart was breaking while reading this. Over the years of watching your videos I have come to see that you have such a beautiful soul and are an amazing person, then I question why bad things happen to such good people. However, I know that you will overcome this obstacle that was put in your way and move on and become even stronger. A few years ago I went through a similar situation, where I found out the guy I was seeing was also involved with another person. Like you said in your post your friends are the ones who will always be there for you. I know that right now everything seems dark but there is light at the end of the tunnel just keep making your way towards it.
    With love Aarti

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  77. I've been thinking about this the whole day, and still can't believe it... I have been watching your videos for years and years, I got married a month after you, I feel like you are "my friend" and this hurts so much. It makes no sense to me... But knowing that he is that kind of person, you and Addie are much better without him. You both deserve the world and I trully believe that everything happens for a reason, I'm sure there has to be something really great waiting for you both around the corner and this just had to happen in order for you to get there. I'm sending you all the love and support, I know we haven't met in real life, but I'm here if you ever need anything.

    Love from Spain
    Monica

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  78. You are strong and beautiful. I wish you a life full of love. Thank you for this.

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  79. Dear Michele,
    I have been thinking about this post all night. I am so sorry for you to hear that this has happend, but at the same time I am so happy to hear that you are such a strong woman. Still, even with something so hard and horrible, you inspire me. I have always looked up to you in a way - even though we have never met. But you graduated, had a job, met a nice man, your family loved him, got engaged, got married and had a perfect little girl. Exactly the path every girl dreams off. I am so sorry that this is not the happy ending, but I do believe that there will be a happy ending for you and Addison. Like you said, this is sure to be a stepping stone to something even better. You deserve so much better. You are such an honest, beautiful, funny, inspiring and a good person and mother. Sending you and your daughter lot's of love and happiness from the Netherlands!

    Sara

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  80. Michele, I am so sorry. I have been watching your videos for a long time- you were one of the first people I started watching on YouTube. Your attitude and strength are amazing. I truly believe that everything, both good and bad, does happen for a reason. It is great that you have been leaning on your faith... God's got this. He will take care of you and Addison and I am sure he has bigger, better plans for you. Keep doing you. You are an inspiration. I wanted to share this song that has helped me when u was in a really dark place. "Just Be Held" - Casting Crowns I hope it can provide some comfort. Love and prayers.

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  81. Michelle,
    I am so very sorry to hear this. You & Addie are in my prayers. I have watched your videos for about four years, and I am always impressed by your kind, caring nature. You are a beautiful, smart, & talented person. Stay strong - you can make it through this. We're cheering for you! :)

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  82. Michelle, I have always loved watching your channel. I never read your blog, but something prompted me to check out your blogre tonight. I was floored when I read through your latest blog post and my heart broke for you. I am sorry you and sad you're going through this dark time, but at the same time it makes me smile that you are growing closer to God. I am 28, my husband is 33, we have 2 daughters (8&1). There have been lies, dating profiles created, and so much heartache to follow. like you, i have felt like there's a bomb waiting to go off. :( the husband is called to love the wife as Christ loves the church, to protect her. Just keep leaning into the Lord and He will direct your paths. WE cant go wrong there. :)
    -Girl Smitten

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  83. Hi Michele! I'm so sorry for you and little Addison! I couldn't believe when I was reading...I just imagine how shocking it was for you! What happened is horrible but I hope that it'll make you stronger, just please don't stop believing in love.. I mean Love with the capital L!!! Time and the lovely people around you will heal every wound. It's strange how you can feel sad for somebody you don't really know in person, but I actually have been hanging out with you for the last 5/6 years :-) so I'll send you my biggest virtual hug from Italy!

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  84. Hi Michele,
    It speaks volumes about you how so many of us feel such a connection with you just over the internet. Ive been watching you for many years, and still remember when you were kind enough to respond to my comment on one of your videos-I was so excited. I hope you always remember how awesome you are. Believing that everything happens for a reason that i may not be able to pinpoint right now has gotten me through a lot of tough times like the one you have been facing. I wish you and Adison all the best to come. Sending happy vibes your way.. :)

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  85. Michele, I am so sorry this has happened to you, I'm speechless. I have been watching your videos for years and have always admired your style and honest opinions. I feel like I know you personally and am genuinely heartbroken for you. Just remember your internet family are here for you and Addie xx

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  86. Michele, I am so sorry! I have been watching your videos since way before you got married and honestly, I am just speechless. I hate this for you. Lean on your family, they will support you and just know that many many people are sending good thoughts and prayers your way. Hang in there.

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  87. Michele
    I am so sorry for your loss, it is a loss. Our hugs thoughts and prayers are going out to you and your Addy. Know that you are an amazing young women and I am inspired by your integrity and grace.
    You always have friend here in Colorado
    Fellow blogger, beth @ secondhandmom.com

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  88. Michele I am in complete shock!! Your life seemed so perfect. I am truly sorry this happened to you. Kids are amazing and a man will never know how lucky we are as women to have that precious feeling and bond with our children. I would have seriously turned into the devil if I found out my husband had been living a double life. Nick definitely is lucky you didn't put your rage into him. Without a doubt I know you will find your prince charming and have the life you deserve.
    Much love and blessings to you and Addison, my friend.
    xoxo


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  89. I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time. I have been watching you for awhile and you were the reason I became an Independent Stylist with Stella and Dot. Often times what doesn't break us makes us stronger. You clearly are an inspiration to so many. This too shall pass!
    Stay strong and take care of your baby girl!

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  90. I am shocked that this happened to you you are a lovely caring and genuine person I wish you and your daughter all the best that the world has to offer because you deserve it

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  91. Dearest Michele,
    It took me a few days to even process this news--after all, in my eyes you were the poster girl for young love & success. You became the little sister—in my head--that as the youngest of my own siblings, I never had. To say I am sorry is an understatement. I was totally moved to tears for you, as I’m sure were your family and friends, and your internet family as well.

    Your strength is incredible! I know as you said, there were many dark days but you have already found the strength to forge forward. Your intellect, beauty & winning personality—along with your faith in God and God’s Grace will continue to see you through. As for Nick & the individual who was complicit in this ugliness—Karma is a bitch. I hope she knows that if they do it WITH you, they’ll do it TO you—and she has it coming. What an absolute disappointment he turned out to be, and what an absolute fool to lose his family this way.

    In the spirit of moving on, I can agree with you and I know first hand that things do and will get better. Try not to allow this to affect your ability to love and trust again. It will take time, but you will be ready to, again someday. And what a catch you are Michele. You have beauty and effervescence beyond measure.

    May God bless you and Addison. I will keep you and your family in my daily prayers. I know this hurt your parents deeply, as well.

    …..weeping may endure for a night, but joy commeth in the morning.
    Psalm 30:4 King James Version (1611)

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  92. I love that you feel close enough to your viewers to share a little of yourself with us, while still being respectful and private to yourself with what must be a very difficult rollercoaster. I have been a subscriber for years, even though the time you left and came back, lol. Love you, hope staying busy with you tube helps! We love you girl and my prayer for you is that you can fins as much peace and joy In each day as possible and that those time continue to grow. Everything that happens (as tough as it seems at the time) is always part of our bigger plan. One day you will be able to look back and go, oh I get it now :) Keep on keepin on!

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  93. I am now really shocked. You are a really strong woman and I really admire for your decision.
    I followed you since the beginning and I always admired you but now, I can really say you are a role model to me.
    Stay strong!
    Valeria.

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  94. I hope you decide to do a video on coping strategies you've used to help stay so positive and strong. It would empower a lot of women going through something similar. When women go through these types of things, we seek others for support to see how they dealt with it , in order to give us hope that we will be okay.

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  95. I am so sorry you're going through such a terrible time, but your courage and strength will get you through it. xox

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  96. Ohh Michele! I'm so sorry... I've been watching your videos for almost 5 years, and you have always been my favourite. Every time I open my youtube, your videos are the first ones that i watch.

    I hope you will be okay after all this, and I'm sure this is only the beginning for you! Love <3

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  97. My gosh I am sooo sorry to hear this Michele...I honestly had anxiety reading this for you and your sweet girl. I wish you nothing but the best and you will find your fairytale...thats for certain :)...XO

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  98. Michele, you are a brave soul. You are such an inspiration. This breaks my heart. Hang tight. You will get through this. Remember, there is always a rainbow after a storm. I will keep you and Addison in my prayers. Love- Honeylet

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  100. Michele, I'm saddened by your situation. But, I've been watching your channel for years, you are one of my favorite you tubers. Your channel has gotten me through some rough days while I was in medical school and now as I finish my journey through residency. I remember, coming home on some long, hard days from work or school, after taking care of some really ill people, and looking forward to watching you. You are a sweetheart and truly special, and the one who has hurt you has made an error in judgement and as a result has lost a great person. You are 29 and I know it's terrible to be going through something like this at this age, but imagine if it was 10 years from now. Better to know early and move on than to waste all those precious years with a coward. Good luck on your new journey and know that you are awesome!

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  101. Hi Michele. Thank you for writing this, I going through a similar situation and I can't stop crying right now reading how you feel because I know the feeling.
    I need to have hope again and believe that some day I will be happy again even when I just see everything dark and I don't see the light at the end.
    Im trying just to live one day at a time and one day I guess this will be just a good experience in my life, and this pain that I feel will go away.
    Believe me that you are such a great woman and even better mother.
    You are totally right, life is not a fairytale and I think that was my mistake as well and it is because I feel so bad afert losing what I thought was the love of my life.

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  102. Wow, Michele. I normally don't comment on videos or blogs, but I've been watching your videos for soo long and you're honestly one of my favorites. You're just always so honest and relatable and when I read this post my heart absolutely broke. I'm so shocked and sorry that you have to go through all of this. But it sounds like you're handling it well, and wish you the best. If you ever read this, just know there are people who care about you and I truly wish you happiness even if I've never met you! Good luck, Michele, I'm sure you'll find out what God has planned for you<3

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  103. I am so sorry for what has happened to you. As I was reading this story I was wondering who it was. I knew Michelle 1218 is you, but never thought this was your story. What a total blindside you were hit with. By sharing your story you are not only helping yourself, but also helping others going through this. Addison has one special Mommy.

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  104. Sending hugs and good thoughts to you and Addie! So sorry you guys have to go through all of this.. You are so brave and such an inspiration. Keep strong girl! There are plenty of amazing things ahead of you! :)

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  105. Hm. It is just so weird and strange how you think you know somebody jet he is the best actor in the world... You two always seemed so truly happy... can't believe he would be so stupid to ruin all that. So stupid... Love you, you are definitely my favorite youtuber (your videos are the only one I can watch over and over again...) and I'm so sad you need to go through all this mess :(... Keep your head up! You're such a positive person and truly an inspiration <3

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  107. Sweet, Michele. I have followed you diligently (and quietly) from the beginning. I once bought something off one of your blog-sales. You once mentioned reading my blog (which I since stopped writing). I have always admired you; beautiful, intelligent, articulate, educated...everything about your life always seemed so idyllic...so orderly. It's heartbreaking to see you have to endure something so senseless, especially because you exude the very essence of a woman devoted to her husband, to her child, to her home...to the life you were building together. What more could a man possibly want? I, too, am at a crossroads in my marriage. Some days are easier than others. And I will say that it's not any easier 9 years down the road. If something like this happens, it is always better to know it early on. Like you, I have a daughter that is the reason I force myself up every single morning. I am thankful for her as I'm sure you are for Addie. Those little reasons make us stronger..make us more resilient. They look to us for comfort and we must be as strong as we will raise them to be. You have touched so many hearts, with your kind spirit and positivity. Keep your chin up. So many of us are sending good thoughts your way...where God closes a door, He opens a window. xo

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  108. Sorry to hear about your situation. It is true that when one door closes, another is just waiting to be opened. Hopefully the next one leads you to the one you are supposed to live. I too was divorced from a man who cheated on me, stole from me, used me and even more horrible stuff I would prefer not to type here. I didn't know then but the experience made me stronger and more aware. I am now in a relationship that is so good for me and makes me super happy and content. At the time, I was 28 and was sure that I would not be able to find someone suitable as I felt the best man for me would have been snapped up. I am glad I was wrong and that the timing was perfect (he was also just newly single and had always like me so there you go). Stay strong and keep smiling!

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  109. Hi Michele,

    My prayers go out to you and Addison from the bottom of my heart:)

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  110. Hey Michele, i´ve read this post so many times after you posted it, as a mother of a 11 MO princess, and soon to be 3 years married i cannot but feel your pain so close, as if it could easily be me, thank you because you wrote some things that i NEEDED to read, it is so common for us women to blame ourselves for mistakes that someone else made of his own, we tend to justify even the fault as if it was something we created, and taht only leads to even more pain and dark days...... from the bottom of my heart i hope that you keep being the amazing human being that you are, and God bless you and your princess.....

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  111. You are truly a blessing to this world. May God continue to cover and guide you. Your little girl is so blessed to have you in her life.

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  112. Oh Michele, I have avoided reading this post for a while now because it hurts to accept that I am going through something similar. My fairytale is also over. My heart has been shattered into a million pieces and I struggle every day to wake up and accept the fact that my life will never be the same thanks to the selfish actions of one person. I will never understand why my best friends (husband and childhood friend) chose to betray me the way they did. I never saw it coming. I never found the joy and comfort that a little angel brings into your life, but at 29 years old, I accept that my journey to finding myself has just begun. I thank you for sharing something so deeply personal with us. In a sense I feel as though we have grown with you, through the evolution of your channel on Youtube and your life. I admire your outlook on life and your ability to stay positive and strong. Just remember that some things fall apart so better things can come together.

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  113. Michelle,

    Ive been a follower on your you tube channel for awhile now and im one of the silent ones..ive rarely left comments..i also follow your instagram and never a noticed a darn thing...My fairytale was over 3 yrs ago..I "mourned" for about 2yrs ....taking the time to heal...time for myself..time to think...time to forget...time to forgive...just this past year i finally feel like im back to being my old self..actually an even better stronger wiser person...those "waves" are almost gone and i even started dating though im taking slow baby steps but its a start....Time does heal all wounds...give it time...take your time.

    You are awesome!

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  114. It makes me so sad to read this....
    Im not going to sit here and write down how much I know that it hurts cause that will not help at all
    All I can say is that I know that you will get through this. You are a strong and beautiful woman and together with your little girl you will get through anything!
    I will keep you both (you and your lil girl) in my prayers!
    xx

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  115. Michele, I realize I am a little late to read this but I just wanted to say I have been one of your 'silent' followers for a while and I am so truly sorry. I can only imagine how difficult this time has been, but it is inspiring to see how far you have come out of this on the other side. Your daughter is very lucky to have you and I wish you both all of the blessings in the world for the future! xox - Michelle

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  116. Hi Michele, I just found out and am so sorry to hear this has happened to you. I have been a subscriber for years and really appreciate you sharing this. It is a 'death' of sorts and you have to grieve it, you're right. You seem to be coping so well and are a wonderful mother to Addison. I want to say 'if there's anything i can do just ask' but its a bit hard from Australia! (the offer still stands though- as one sided as this may be i do consider you a friend!). I wish you and Addison all the best for your beautiful future and will continue to look forward to seeing you in your videos and blog. Love Shody XXXXXXX

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  117. Michele,
    I'm sorry I just read this. 2014 has been a bad year for me as well. Just know that you have been a great support for your fans. You are always a friendly face. The offers goes both ways. if you ever need to vent I am here. Wishing you and Addison all of the best.
    Ximena

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  118. Michele,
    I am sorry for what you are going through. I had no idea. I just found out today. Praying for your healing as well as for your daughter and parents/family. I am sure that they (your parents) are hurting as much as you are. I am so glad that you wrote this blog post. Your daughter is still too young to understand any of this now but someday, when she's old enough, she would know what a great mom you are to her and how she helped you continue to live during these dark times. Hugs to you and Addison. xoxo---from May

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  119. Dear Michele,
    Like many of the other comments, I have also been a long time viewer of your youtube videos. You were one of the first beauty and life vloggers I subscribed to and have continued to follow because I felt I could relate to you the most. I have watched your journey and feel the sorrow from reading your post. My heart goes out to you and your daughter! I hope that this will allow you to find and realize the things that matter most in your life. My prayers go out to you and I am looking forward to seeing you get through all of this. I know you will as you are a strong woman. As long as you keep making videos, I will keep watching. I know it sounds weird and you don't know me, but if there is anything I can do to help, please let me know.
    Love, Em.

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  120. I've been a long time but quiet follower. Reading this past reminded me of a book I discovered during a time of extreme heartbreak. It's called Split: A Memoir of Divorce by Suzanne Finnamore. Mr situation wasn't exactly like hers as I'm sure yours won't be either but something about her writing was so therapeutic to me. I read it over and over. If you decide to check it out I hope it brings you comfort in some way. Your videos continue to inspire and motivate me to be the woman I know I am. Sounds cheesy but it's true! Keep doing what you're doing! Mary

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  121. I've been a long time but quiet follower. Reading this past reminded me of a book I discovered during a time of extreme heartbreak. It's called Split: A Memoir of Divorce by Suzanne Finnamore. Mr situation wasn't exactly like hers as I'm sure yours won't be either but something about her writing was so therapeutic to me. I read it over and over. If you decide to check it out I hope it brings you comfort in some way. Your videos continue to inspire and motivate me to be the woman I know I am. Sounds cheesy but it's true! Keep doing what you're doing! Mary

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  122. Hi Michelle,

    My name is Anja and I am from the Bahamas. I have been watching your videos for years. I remember when you left and came back. You have always had an air of sophistication and style about you. You were always naturally jovial and I think that is what attracted to me to your YouTube videos in the first place and you use to haul like crazy back then lol. I hope during this rough time in your life that you eventually find that lighthearted jovial Michelle again and continue to move towards your destiny. Till then I wish you well

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  123. Am just an over exerted today for what this great man call DR ADAGBA of adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com has just done in my marital life, after all the emotional pain that i have being passing through all this years have be turn to joy .and i will like you on this forum to help me in thanking he because for the past two years my husband has been cheating on me with a lady and this has course the family a lot of problems and our baby Evonne where the one perpetual taking the pain because at this time my husband don\'t normally come home to ask after the child or even care about what the child needed so with all this problems i was not happy in my marriage and i started going for different kind of marriage cancelling and looking for solution every where not until this faithful day when i was browsing on the internet i saw a testimony shared by miss Tessy Jerry Uk about this DR ADAGBA and i also contacted him for help and that was how he gave me some instructions and and i followed what ever he told me and i was surprise when he said to me go my child for all will be fine within the next 24 hours .and within the 24 hours i actually received a call from my husband who has not called me for some months now asking after the child and i . and that was how was the end of my marriage problems . so this is why i promise to testify to the whole world about this man DR ADAGBA and if any is also depress with such problems contact him now on:adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com and you will also find success and all your heart desire will be granted by
    DR ADAGBA, of : adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com

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  124. Hello Michele! I watch your videos since long time and I enjoy them. I remembered that your divorce touch me and these days, here I am in the same situation. All my world falls apart. I was happy, I had a store and a great family (he has 5 children between 23 and 15 years old). I was with them for 7 years. Now, I'm back in my brother's house alone with no job, no money. It's so hard... This happen early May. I gave all I had for them and now I did bankrupcy! I have so much anger and sadness. I watch your videos and this help me to see that the sun will shine again someday. Thank you to continue your good work �� it's helping me even if we are far away I am in Canada. Sincerely xxx Josee

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    Replies
    1. Hi Josee, I'm so sorry this is happening to you - please know that it does get better and your days will get easier. I never thought I would smile again, let alone feel the amount of happiness that I feel. Hang in there love, xo

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  125. I just watched your engagement video. And I'm reading this:

    "A month after everything came out, a very wise soul said something that has really stuck with me that I want to share with you all. She said that though I may have thought of Nick as my soul mate and my forever - he may have just been a stepping stone for me to get to where I am going and ultimately where I am supposed to be."

    It is so true Michele!

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  126. I would love to read a follow up post on this. Obviously, since I watch your videos I know you are now happily engaged but would still love to know where you are with your previous relationship and how you got to where you are now.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Chrissy,

      Thank you for reaching out! I haven't blogged in forever, but I am happy to post an update soon! Not sure if you saw my FAQ video, but that may help give you some insight into how I got over the "hump", lol. I will link it here.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvxOBhIdMBg

      Have a great Thanksgiving!
      xo,
      Michele

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