My Bald Beauty!

A week ago I witnessed by 4 year old turn into a Young Adult right before my eyes.  Lets back-up....When Addie first started losing her hair, I cut it to about a bob length to make it more manageable and less tangly.  She didn't want me to cut it (she never had a haircut before), but I explained to her how the medicine they give to her to kill the beast, also makes her hair fall out.  We started having daily conversations about her hair and the staff at the clinic also helped with the conversations too.  She is still pretty young to have something like hair affect her, but she has never had a hair cut and always loved her long hair, so I was prepared that while most kids aren't phased by hair, I knew Addie would be.  She was really upset at first, but understood.  I also explained how when it does grow back, it may be even different than it use to be!  We keep saying how exciting it will be to see if her hair grows back the same or totally different - she wants it to grow back pink, lol.  Once it was shorter, I was brushing it once a day to avoid it from tangling and getting matted...but we had been keeping it up and out of the way for the most part.  She didn't like seeing how much came out in her Tubby or her hair brush.  If I'm being honest, I was looking forward to the day when we could shave it because it was just getting everywhere and making her upset to see.  I asked her early on if she just wanted to shave it off completely but she didn't want any part of it and I wasn't pushing.  We asked her if she wanted to wear a wig that looked just like her normal hair and she was really excited about it!  We discovered an incredible organization called Children with Hair Loss who gifts kids a real-human hair wig every year until they turn 21.  The wig was gorgeous, but looked very "adult", so I had my sweet friend who is a hair stylist come over and make it more like Addie's original hair.  It was hard for her to put the wig on with the hair she still had left and her little top knot, so as much as she loved it, she wasn't crazy about wearing it - which was totally fine with me.  I started planting seeds again, about shaving the rest of her hair off but it wasn't well received.  The clinic gifted her the Ella barbie who is bald and comes with 2 wigs.  They also let Addie play with their bald American Girl Doll each time we were there, and sent us home with books to help her come around to the idea.  Last Tuesday night I was brushing her hair before bed and Addie caught a glimpse of herself in her mirrored dresser.  She broke down and was very upset seeing her scalp in some areas.  I kept it together for her and told her how it wasn't a big deal at all, wouldn't be for too long and it will grow back.  Most importantly I reassured her that she will be just as beautiful whether she has hair or not.  I was secretly dying inside watching her be so effected by it.  I said, "Addie, lets just shave it off and get it over with, it will be easier for you to wear your wig if you want, too".  I also had been buying her really cute hats and headbands that I showed her as well.  Louie came in when he heard her crying and as always Addie's face lit up.  He was encouraging her to just do it, and Addie would do anything Louie tells her to do.  So she said, "I want Louie to shave my head?" We ran with it!  We let her use her own scissors to trim off some more of her hair and make it fun, before Louie (Dan) started shaving off the remaining strands on her beautiful head.  Call it a family affair, but it was a moment that I will never forget and one that brought all of us so much closer.  She jumped in the shower afterwards to get off all the small itchy hairs and said it felt funny and started laughing!  It was all smiles from there and honestly I breathed a huge sigh of relief.  We then Face Timed everyone to show off Addie's new do' and everyone's excitement and reaction definitely helped to make it much less of a "no big deal".  Her wig slipped on super easy after that, though Addie didn't have much interest in wearing it.  She said she just wanted to wear it for the wedding.  We told her she didn't have to if she didn't want to but she was excited about it, so again we went with it.  I doubt the wig will ever go back on her head and I would actually prefer it that way if I am being honest.  The wig is beautiful, but its obvious that its a wig and she just looks so much more herself without it.  She looks adorable and she is comfortable and thats all I could ever want.  After the ceremony, we encouraged her to take the wig off and just have fun and dance without having it itching her or being too hot.  This day was one I was dreading ever since we got her diagnosis, but it honestly went so much better than I could have imagined.  She is happy and comfortable, which is all I could ever ask for.

Here are a few photos from the wedding - though they aren't the best quality...I didn't have my phone on me at all during the wedding, so they are photos sent by friends/family.  I can't wait to share more once I get them from our Photographer!

I plan on booking an appointment as soon as I have a second, to chop off my hair and donate it to Children with Hair Loss to be made into a wig for another little girl who has a beast living inside her.  Addie wants to come with me and cut my hair the same way she cut hers, so it will be a fun day ahead!

Truthfully, I wish we had done it sooner, but regardless I'm just happy its over with.  The anxiety leading up to it was terrible!  It went so much better than I expected and I am grateful for all of the support, barbie dolls, books, etc. that helped Addie feel more comfortable with losing her hair.  We can't wait for the day that it grows back so we can see how different (if at all) it will look!

With Love,